MMFF What Is Your Major Malfunction?

As we end the year I want to talk about something that coincide with our local Christmas season, that award festival. The Metro Manila Film Festival or MMFF for short, the so-called prestigious award giving body that kills both foreign films that blossomed anywhere in the planet around Christmas season and well deserved local movies.

The festival has a terrible history of controversies and questionable decisions yet the masses and gossip addicts still embraces the horrible chosen movies every year and not recognize movies that are obviously better.

I still don’t get on how they choose the movies that will compete for the festival. Recently, the committee is quite obsessed including movies that are just rehash of old ones, unnecessary sequels with actors that feeds on the gullible masses and movies that most likely written in a day, shot in a week, and post edited while playing a PSP.

MMFF Guy: Whats a good movie?
Since the festivals main marketed description is prestigious, and as others say the MMFF is in the same level of Oscars, the movie selections should have the following important characteristics, even if the movie is a comedy and horror.

1. The story is good

Sorry, I only came up with one characteristic, but believe me, that is the most important factor of a movie. The story comes first, the actors are just the tools to execute the story, guided by a director that knows what the hell is he or she doing and accompanied by a well-organized crew.

MMFF Guy:What could go wrong?
The big day has arrived, it’s the real awards night, but what’s this, obviously needed stuff is not done… properly? or not done at all?

First and foremost, since they only had a very, very limited selected movies, why the hell they still limit the nominees for each categories? why not have every movie has its own representative? There was a massive backlash when one of the movies that has a female protagonist (I wonder if the committee members knows the word protagonist) that is obviously entitled be nominated in the best actress group, since again she is a female and lead performer, was not included in the nominees.

I read somewhere that the nominees is already pre-selected by the “new and improved” jurors and they only chose 3, among 8 movies, per category. Well that is stupid, there are 8 movies fighting and killing your Christmas movie selections, not 3 films and in this approach, the nominees are stupidly inconsistent.

Other award bodies, especially the foreign ones, release the nominees before the real event to create buzz, even gossips that some of our local country men die for. Here in our dear MMFF, they only show the nominees, fueled with their idiotic nomination process, on the night itself.

Since we are talking about nominations, the festival is heavily promoted and well-funded (they even had a lengthy commercial on theater) yet they can’t come up with decent “the nominees” nomination highlight video. You know, the one they say each nominee, and the video will show something from the nominee. Like if I say nominee A, the video will show nominee A doing something from the movie. God damn, the presenters looks embarrassingly stiff and awkward while reading the nominees one by one like a disgruntled underpaid employee.

MMFF Guy: Our event is awesome
The recent one, oh boy, there are a lot of technical disasters and dumb decisions occurred throughout the night. Even if it is a delayed telecast, they should have done something to redeemed the influx of event related problems which include.

• Few mics not working and no immediate replacement mic was given to the speaker. He has to walk a few meters just to get a working mic
• Lots and lots of dead air (meaning nothings happening)
• Playing the applause music when they show the crowd that only around 5% was actually clapping
• Terrible lighting in some scenes

Lastly, their main animated event ID, the horrible early 90s look video probably rendered in a Windows 95 computer. An arts college student can do better event ID than that crap.

I hope they will do a better job next year, and hopefully, the rumored text to vote scheme is true, at least the choices will be from the people. Then again, a lot of our country men here votes on who and what is popular like in every election.

The only good thing MMFF has done this year is to recognized some indie films. Who knows, these future big time movie makers will offer the MMFF a set of movies that are actually good.

And one more thing, can they move the festival in other dates than Christmas? please? Hollywood always come up with good holiday films and we are still stuck with local MMFF selected movies that are 70%  dreadful and painful to watch.

Thank you for reading my last and a very world saving entry and have a Merry Christmas and a happy new year to all you again.

Those FB Photos

Hello, its Christmas season again and work starts getting a little lighter. What better way to celebrate this festive season is to spank in written form anyone who does not use their Facebook photo features properly.

One of the features of Facebook is of course, having your photo published for everyone to see, including your sweaty stalker. Your primary photo’s overall feel, in the essence, is not complicated, not stiff and very presentable since the very first thing a viewer of your profile will look for is your photo.

If your photo is the annoying type, the viewer might not check out your Facebook anymore. Hilarity ensues if your father see your primary photo showing horrible things like doing something inappropriate with a piece of an inanimate object.

Overall, they are just some photos that are highly recommended be placed inside on one of your internal photo albums or better, for the sake of doing good to the world, don’t post it.

Flex, flex, flex and more flex

Showcasing your hard etched body especially abs
There is something unsettling seeing people who does t-shirt lifting to show his abs or flexing around their unnatural muscles. Boasting their physical appearances is a way to compensate of some of their shortcoming, maybe in literal sense or something else. In the end its annoying. I am not in a way jealous seeing people with awesome bodies, just don’t flaunt it around. Yes, I am proud with my abs, 6 packs (of beer) and all.

Duckfacing…. sexy?

The Duckface
A very sad attempt to look sexy. Mostly done by female crowd and a way to do a subtle cock tease for their horny stalker really look stupid. Why a lot of girls do that? stop doing that expression accompanied by a failed gangsta style hand gestured you copied from some guy on Facebook. According to some guy in the Internet, the duckfacing, in his observation, is a way for select women to hide their insecurities . It’s like a false advertisement to the viewers of their photo, kinda like the next one.

Nice…Oh shhhhhh

The Dreaded MySpace angle
Many people around the Internet world loves this angle when they took their own photos. Their preferred room for their personal pictorial is always been the bathroom or their own rooms. This deceiving angle, if placed upper sideways from your body tend to overemphasize your face than your lower body. It is a way to hide something about your body that the world don’t want to see. It’s also a very powerful attention gathering tool, it can fool idiots thinking you have the hottest or yummiest body ever.

MySpace Angle: Dogs love it, Cats still does not care

Named after MySpace because you know, it was popular and THE social site back then, but the angle later scattered other social sites, like the current king of social networking, Facebook.

I am going to effed you up!

The Tough Guy/Look at me I am THE MAN/WOMAN Look
Again, being anonymous in the Internet in a way can cover your real self. You can see this set of lonely people raising havoc in many message boards with their scary typing skills and what not. Accompanied by their over worked muscles and their bad ass tattoos doing not normal shenanigans in their photos. They tend to do the Duckface crap and flaunt to the world-wide web with photos surrounded by whores and man whores, paid by them of course, Their statuses and self-written comments to their own photos, packed with narcissistic nonsense that you wish that an anvil comes from the sky and hits those people who wear ridiculous “gangsta” outfits that they raided (actually bought) in the thrift shops.

Yes! you rock! whoever you are!

Concert/Event + Mobile Phone with built-in motion blur = Can’t see shit
This always happened after a major concert/event ended. In delight we tried our best to take photos with our mobile phone since event security is allergic with high-resolution cameras like a DLSR. Why banned DLSRs? are we going to shoot the performers with our ordinary cameras? With a lot of crap going on like stage lights swirling around  and everyone is moving around on the crowd, 97% of time you will get a blurred shot. If you uploaded it, maybe you can only make out on at least one photo. Don’t bother uploading it

Find your local versions of the photo above

The Douchebag look
You just want to hit the face with the wrench, everyone one of them.

Merry Christmas and thanks for keeping my blog warm when I don’t post!