Post of Rage 3: With A Vengeance

For the past few days I met a lot of this pain generating idiots and trends that currently invading our dear country. Some of them is usually seen in frequent basis and others are just the flavor of the week and wishing the fad disappear immediately. Time to wear my rage cap and welcome you to another installment of “Post of Rage”, where I can write things I despise and only thing missing is to throw an old broken down toilet to the things I want to crap on.

Drivers who does not know how to use directional signal lights
It is one of those minor things that you can do to decrease road accidents but no, a lot of idiots on the road, especially with the public utility vehicles, for some reason does not know how to use those signal lights and just swerve drastically on each lanes. They jump from one lane to another, racing to their desired destination and high-fiving with the smiling Grim Reaper.

Jejemons Phenomenon
The language molesters and their counterparts the jejebusters should end to exist immediately. They are just  wasting precious internet time and cellphone load, spreading their idiocy. I hope TV news shows stop meddling with this crap and show something relevant or something that can actually help this country. Lastly, this phenomenon is simply annoying.

Filipino Time on Filipino Channels
The Filipino time is a very notorious habit of local countrymen. Filipino time is basically at least 30 minutes to an hour delay from the original time. For example, if the meeting was originally set at  1:00pm, expect the attendees will arrive at around 1:30 and the meeting will begin at 1:45. This also applies to local television network, especially on prime time schedules. The shows starts and ends on different times everyday. Is it hard to come up with a practical schedule and just follow it? when they show the line up of shows, 90% of time there are no specific time on each program and they just, eff it and play the show in a sequence without relying to a non-confusing method of setting schedules properly.

Novelty Radio DJs
I opened the radio and I hear  nice music, just the right soothing alternative rock while driving somewhere in Manila, but all of a sudden, an ear shattering spiel of the DJ blasts to the speakers accompanied with a little jejespeak and other nonsense, later realizing the station is a god damn novelty radio station, home of the most annoying DJs on the planet, not locally, but as whole freaking planet. They are annoying and borderline sleazefest and I wonder our local radio commission does not impose any penalties on this particular stations where the DJs obscenity is quite obvious, vocal and very unnecessary. Yet a lot of our local countrymen enjoy listening to this stations which can destroy more brain cells than drinking a bottle of rugby.

Coffee shop WiFi Hoggers and Time wasting histrionic idiots
Bunch of them are social climbers and thinking hanging out in internet café will raise their popularity or whatever these kids call it today. Since coffee shop is a good place to stay, they can waste time and trying to look more socialite as possible, its like reverse jejemon or something. They will choose the cheapest food from the menu just to declare to the world he is eating and drinking something from the shop,and indulging it in the most pathetic attempt to duplicate on how a typical blue blood snob eat his dishes. While waiting for someone they now to take notice that they are in a posh coffee shop, they will use their cellphones with crappy browser to take advantage of the free WiFi service offered by the coffee shop and posting Facebook status or twits sharing to their friends that they are in this café and sips more from the glass of ice-cold water, of course also free from the shop. Lovely, isn’t it.

Time to remove my rage cap, dusting all the remaining raging steam inside of me, smile a little since in few minutes I’ll be driving home, hooray for me.

Cream of the Crap Netizens

Almost everyone with a computer already know the Internet and just like you the reader, and me, the blogger of this blog, are netizens or whatever Internet cool slang some basement dweller make up.

There are a lot of  netizens all over the Internet and a good number of them uses the Internet for a good cause. I just love the way some netizens use the mainstream feature of the Internet to spread help like the way Philippines handled the Ondoy situation. Every good netizen has its own bad netizen, spread in many idiotic variations. Ladies and gentlemen, here are the cream of the crap netizens, which you can see them in a lot of message boards and blogs.

Radical Activist
This is kind of message board regulars who love to throw strong words after browsing an online thesaurus. They exchange lengthy discussions of certain issues packed with page eating links and attached badly photoshopped images to prove their point.

Always angry and loves to act like your creepy old philosophy professor and only thing missing is you can actually hear the guy voicing his opinions loud through a plug-in mic while choking his pet dog, poor puppy.

Internet Tough Guy
The online brave “bad asses” will respond to you with scary tough responses. Their posts include a photo of themselves, without a shirt, showing his “bad ass” tattoo, flexing their “bad ass” muscles,  holding a “bad ass” gun which he stole from a neighborhood toddler and challenging you to say the thing you said to him online to his face. He will effed you up so bad and you will scream for your uncle, my question is how will his “bad ass” punch goes to the 21 inch “bad ass” LCD monitor and to the face of the “sorry ass” enemy?

They will just scream on the plug-in mic and swears with every cursed word ever known by man, plus the ones invented by your “bad ass” posse, which consists of 2 persons from different countries who don’t understand the English language.

The False Knight in Shining Armor
There is nothing wrong of defending or siding with someone, like a girl from another country and you hardly know a bit of info of her in life, on message board. This people expects immediately that they will receive something in return  for the minute you realized that she is a girl and in need of a great defending, something like sex or live strip show.

They are also known as “white knights” in some message board and stalk the girl vigorously just to get her attention. These knights repeatedly reminds that particular girl that she needs someone as brave and strong as him, while dripping saliva all over the keyboard, scratching the balls while typing his Shakespeare rejected sweet talks. Fortunately, most of I read is that the girls did the right thing, stomped them to hell.

Jejemons
I don’t want to talk about the Jejemons anymore but the best and only way to describe them is they are the language molesters. If a written language has its own abuse landline number like Bantay-Bata, 90% of Jejemons worldwide will be send to jail in a form of  a nursery class, complete with cute star wall motifs, conducting basic alphabet and word lessons.

Narcissistic Know it alls
They assume that they are very important and the greatest thing in the world since the discovery of wheel.  This set of people like throwing strong words toward the victim, after reading a thesaurus of course to make look themselves smarter. They are also obsessed of nitpicking and degrade anyone they think ugly.

These lonely trying hard people are usually seen in message boards and when they see a photo of a very good-looking female, they will say she is ugly and rate them 4 out of 10 wherein the girl can fit in the 8-10 range. In reality, they are just a bunch of educated but fashionably retarded Jejemons hanging out in Internet Cafes all day.

Happy Time Whores
Sadly, a lot of women today, including the teens and even in their 20-30 range counterparts, are getting whorer than ever. They are easily manipulated to do online stripping and other degrading stuff for sheer enjoyment. Some do this to gain something from the viewer, like cash for their cellphone load but a big percentage of them do the sexy show for the heck of it.

Not only women show their skin to the great nation of Internet but men as well, millions of them. Just go to chatroulette.com and you will meet at least 1 guy self pleasuring on cam, thinking you are a female and immediately asks you to show your goods while jerking off vigorously and screaming like a pig.

They use the internet to troll and annoy around message boards and many websites. They fight in terrifying written words which emphasizes that they sound like the cream of a crop alpha male, which made 13-year-old directionless teen girls drop their panties in joy. In reality, they are mostly socially awkward, sexy time deprived, needs psychological rehab and needs a good tap on the head. If you meet one of them, just point, do a Nelson “Ha Ha” laugh and move on with your life while they scratch their head and muttering “what the fuck?”.

The Language Molestors

Since Internet and its all broadband glory is already in the mainstream, a lot of people uses the Internet to exchange ideas and inputs. Since many people are partaking the great Internet concept, there is still a percentage of users labeled as Jejemons.

Jejemon? what the fudge?
Admittedly I have no idea on what a Jejemon yet I met them almost everyday especially on local message boards. I just learned the term a week ago and I realized they are literally a lot of them, thousands of them. A Jejemon uses an absurd language which is a localized and modified version of 1337 speak or leet speak or as I called it as idiot speak. 1337 speak is what the foreign online gamers and computer geeks used to communicate with each other, their own language widely used by young Internet athletes, which consists of basement dwellers and has a phobia of outside life.

A simple he he he is not hard to type
The term Jejemon is taken from the murdered phrase of  “he he he”. From the universally known “he he he” was tragically converted into “je je je”. Some others say it all started with a typo like how “owned” turned  into “pwned” but repeatedly using the letter J instead of letter H is pure bullcrap. They love to put unnecessary letters to words to make it longer, for the reason I don’t know why. Another characteristic of this idiocy is to mix both lower and upper case of a letter, in one word. An example is the word hello, if  molested by a Jejemon, HeLouwH is the new word. Combining similar sounding letters side by side to make it more complicated like the word afternoon turns into AfPterNuN.

Jejemons, the Younger Years
Actually the Jejemon phenomenon is not new, they are just more prevalent than before because the easy accessibility of the broadband Internet. Back when I was just starting using the net, around 97 or 98, a lot of Jejemons already spread their language nonsense throughout the cyberspace. Internet back then is still not a mainstream thing and I got my first taste of Internet access inside of our old school library. Some of them are actually my old friends in high school and they are usually hang around in MIRC and the early versions of Yahoo Chats. Fortunately I never adopt Jejemonesque language, the closest similar language I use online are the usual Internet slangs like LOL, ROFL and Full of Win.

Jejemons, the Modern Crap
Now, the modern Jejemons dances around in the Internet, especially in big social sites. In my observation there are just a bunch of directionless male teenagers who acts like stereotype hispanic gangsters, throwing ridiculous hand signs and wearing outrageous clothes while inside of a public Internet café, wasting the hard-earned money of their parents through being idiots in the Internet. Unfortunately, they are a lot of female Jejemons, I think they greater in numbers than their male counterparts. You know the type, excited teen girls and doing cutesy stuff in the Internet, communicating each other through their murdered language and does other stuff  a lot of modern teens enjoy, which includes stripping themselves and doing shows online naked. Sadly, there are 20+ Filipinos who still do the Jejemon crap and should face a repeatedly stabbing with a broken keyboard to the head.

A way to lessen the number of Jejemons is don’t feed on their idiocy. Still The best thing to fight Jejemons is simply take the Internet and the computer itself away from them and put them back to school, probably all the way down to basic Nursery level language class.