Post of Rage 4: The Headache Sequel

Currently, I am recovering from a terrible bells palsy, probably due to enduring stress for back to back events that happened for the past few months. I still get minor headache behind my head even if I overslept for both weekend days. My head is like being jack hammered and it is the perfect ingredient for another entry of the post of rage.

Novelty Radios
Again, the proverbial different folks for different strokes, but come on, we need to have good music, not ear wrenching novelty music which compose of horrible old love song ballads, one hit wonders from local talents that loves mashing the sampler machine like there is no tomorrow, combine with terrible, self labeled awesome novelty DJs.

Ahhh! sound of novelty radio station! Ahhh! tugstugstugs!

I fondly remembered Rein was an avid listener of a popular DJ.  Later and rightfully she regretted being a fan after seeing the real DJ on TV, a very complete opposite of what the listeners usually engraved to their minds due to his “witty” one-liners that probably taken from a nearby tabloid newspaper, and they tend to think he is one of God’s greatest contributions to handsomeness but you will shake your fist in disappointment. I don’t mind not so popular songs be played on radio because for one, I love every kind of music but please, advertisers, ditch the novelty radios and  go with the stations that plays good songs accompanied by not headache inducing DJs, and lastly, the listeners has the buying power to buy whatever you are selling.

Filthy Public Comfort Rooms
One of the worst things that can happen to you while you are out around the metro is when the Gods of bowel movement suddenly crumpled your stomach and tells you need to unload your feces, like now. Unfortunately in our dear country, especially in our polluted power capital, finding a decent comfort room in public is quite hard.

The correct “Public comfort room usage  preparation mode”

A lot of public rest rooms are filthy and full of crap  smacked all over the place, figuratively and literally, yes I did saw a comfort room with splattered feces in the wall once. Of course, the blame will fall to the ones assigned to make the room squeaky clean and worthy to put our butts on, but everyone knows that maintaining such task with consistency is a sort of allergy to some of our countrymen.

Showbiz  Talkshows and Gossip Suckers
I despise showbiz talk shows, especially the local ones packed with showbiz “journalists” that jerks off backstage when he sees his favorite actor on set. Gossip addicts and being gullible is one of the most popular traits of our nationality. They know more about other persons lives than their selves. Always hungry for scoop and over excited when a revelation is about to broadcast on national TV, complete with epic yet hilarious score and sound effects. Some people actually fight over some gossip and sometimes a kitchen knife is involve.

Gossip, gossip, babble, babble, bullshit, bullshit

Instead of talking about the private lives of our actors and actresses, why don’t we talk about on what they are doing in the first place, which is acting to entertain their fans. Talk more about the movies, TV shows and other miscellaneous projects, that’s good TV. Imagine a world without any gossip addicts, that would be awesome.

Well, at least I felt a little better and I usually say, I hope some of my post here in a way impart the world to make it a better place.

Heavenly Unhealthy

It is very well documented that I love food invented by food scientists wearing fecal colored laboratory attire called apron and rubber gloves called bare hands. Philippines is known for diverse and creative food concoctions that can kill you while still smiling in delight.

Locally, pork is one of the most popular main ingredient and we all know over excessive consumption of pig meat can lead to many sickness and even deaths. Last year, I got a terrifying high blood measurement due to my insane daily habit of eating beef and pork, even in breakfast. As you enjoy indulging yourself with this kind of food, the cholesterol is happily doing his job somewhere inside your body.

Picture above: Happy Cholesterol

Good thing I managed to have my blood pressure lowered and reduced my weight as well. Still I sometimes eat pork food especially that but not as frequent as before, and I drink hard only if there is an occasion or rare reunions with some old buddies.

Here, in our dear old country, our fellow country men has one of the greatest and strongest internal organs ever. Even of all kinds of pork powered food you can come up with, they will still withstand every ounce of it, unless Grim Reaper decided to just effed it, clogged your arteries and add you to his collection of death by over abundance of waxy steroid metabolite, or simply cholesterol.

We are notorious of pigging out especially on big time event. Some people are finding any slight reason to call it as an occasion like a funeral of someone you only met a few times or get together like someone is going abroad the following day just to have a festive feast of munching fats and lard like there is no tomorrow. Even if you are running out of money you still need to throw your money just to eat deadly foods accompanied with dosage of alcohol drinks.

In the middle of alcohol training

Speaking of deadly foods, one of my most favorite deadly food is all time is sisig, and only recently I discovered and tasted the genesis of sisig. We had an ocular somewhere in Pampanga for a client event and later decided to find and have a hearty lunch at the holy grail of pig part’s goodness, the Aling Lucing’s sisig restaurant. We had a hard time looking for the restaurant since we are looking for the railway landmark. Luckily, we found it after a shirtless bystander pointed us to the eatery. The railway landmark was also nearby but we realized that it does not look like a railway anymore because all the metal railings were gone, probably chopped apart by the same shirtless bystander and sold to a metal junk shop to have another alcohol and sisig budget.

I already tried the self labeled best sisigs around the metro but I must say, the Aling Lucing’s sisig’s…. sisig is the best damn sisig ever. So god damn good, tastes different, so freaking good, so heavenly yet not healthy. There is something about their sisig that is so unique, everything is well prepared and not thrown together by a sweaty, fat pseudo-chef.

Even I was always in Pampanga especially during my elementary days, this is the only time I managed be graced upon with the Aling Lucing’s sisig. Unfortunately, Aling Lucing herself was tragically murdered in 2008 and the killer was her husband. Her daughter, which looks like Aling Lucing is now doing all the God’s work in their restaurant.

The writer of the best time waster blog ever endorses his first endorsement ever.

Later, each one of us took one sisig take out for home and I introduced the Aling Lucing sisig to Rein, and when she tasted it, she starts head banging in delight, well not actually head banging but she enjoyed every minute of biting and digesting pig’s greatest contribution to humanity.

Remember, meat has still essential nutrients that enable us to do things that puts money on the table.Eating unhealthy foods that scuba dived in cooking oils should still be taken in moderation. We can still eat beef and pork for the sheer enjoyment of eating dead animals who are probably cursing with every curse word known to universe at us on their afterlife.

MMFF What Is Your Major Malfunction?

As we end the year I want to talk about something that coincide with our local Christmas season, that award festival. The Metro Manila Film Festival or MMFF for short, the so-called prestigious award giving body that kills both foreign films that blossomed anywhere in the planet around Christmas season and well deserved local movies.

The festival has a terrible history of controversies and questionable decisions yet the masses and gossip addicts still embraces the horrible chosen movies every year and not recognize movies that are obviously better.

I still don’t get on how they choose the movies that will compete for the festival. Recently, the committee is quite obsessed including movies that are just rehash of old ones, unnecessary sequels with actors that feeds on the gullible masses and movies that most likely written in a day, shot in a week, and post edited while playing a PSP.

MMFF Guy: Whats a good movie?
Since the festivals main marketed description is prestigious, and as others say the MMFF is in the same level of Oscars, the movie selections should have the following important characteristics, even if the movie is a comedy and horror.

1. The story is good

Sorry, I only came up with one characteristic, but believe me, that is the most important factor of a movie. The story comes first, the actors are just the tools to execute the story, guided by a director that knows what the hell is he or she doing and accompanied by a well-organized crew.

MMFF Guy:What could go wrong?
The big day has arrived, it’s the real awards night, but what’s this, obviously needed stuff is not done… properly? or not done at all?

First and foremost, since they only had a very, very limited selected movies, why the hell they still limit the nominees for each categories? why not have every movie has its own representative? There was a massive backlash when one of the movies that has a female protagonist (I wonder if the committee members knows the word protagonist) that is obviously entitled be nominated in the best actress group, since again she is a female and lead performer, was not included in the nominees.

I read somewhere that the nominees is already pre-selected by the “new and improved” jurors and they only chose 3, among 8 movies, per category. Well that is stupid, there are 8 movies fighting and killing your Christmas movie selections, not 3 films and in this approach, the nominees are stupidly inconsistent.

Other award bodies, especially the foreign ones, release the nominees before the real event to create buzz, even gossips that some of our local country men die for. Here in our dear MMFF, they only show the nominees, fueled with their idiotic nomination process, on the night itself.

Since we are talking about nominations, the festival is heavily promoted and well-funded (they even had a lengthy commercial on theater) yet they can’t come up with decent “the nominees” nomination highlight video. You know, the one they say each nominee, and the video will show something from the nominee. Like if I say nominee A, the video will show nominee A doing something from the movie. God damn, the presenters looks embarrassingly stiff and awkward while reading the nominees one by one like a disgruntled underpaid employee.

MMFF Guy: Our event is awesome
The recent one, oh boy, there are a lot of technical disasters and dumb decisions occurred throughout the night. Even if it is a delayed telecast, they should have done something to redeemed the influx of event related problems which include.

• Few mics not working and no immediate replacement mic was given to the speaker. He has to walk a few meters just to get a working mic
• Lots and lots of dead air (meaning nothings happening)
• Playing the applause music when they show the crowd that only around 5% was actually clapping
• Terrible lighting in some scenes

Lastly, their main animated event ID, the horrible early 90s look video probably rendered in a Windows 95 computer. An arts college student can do better event ID than that crap.

I hope they will do a better job next year, and hopefully, the rumored text to vote scheme is true, at least the choices will be from the people. Then again, a lot of our country men here votes on who and what is popular like in every election.

The only good thing MMFF has done this year is to recognized some indie films. Who knows, these future big time movie makers will offer the MMFF a set of movies that are actually good.

And one more thing, can they move the festival in other dates than Christmas? please? Hollywood always come up with good holiday films and we are still stuck with local MMFF selected movies that are 70%  dreadful and painful to watch.

Thank you for reading my last and a very world saving entry and have a Merry Christmas and a happy new year to all you again.

Driving Hell

I may sound like a really broken record here but driving in our country really sucks especially of course in our dear capital, the infamous streets of Metro Manila.

As I type this and all of a sudden, a traffic enforcer with ninja powers came out of nowhere and starts giving me a violation ticket due to complaining about the traffic situation through blogging, here are some things I really, really hate in the roads of Manila.

Jeepney headlights set to off at night
I just recently noticed that many jeepneys traveling at night, and I mean many them, had their headlights off and speeding blindly in the dark. I remember almost hitting a jeep when I was attempting to change lanes and all of a sudden, a  jeep with a switched off headlight swoosh to my lane, complete with the patented angry honking. I asked this to a forum and a guy said the reason many jeepneys doing this is to make their slightly lit route signage attached to their windshield visible at night….. that’s stupid.

Swerving Delight
Filipino drivers just love to insert themselves on every possible space, even swerving drastically from one lane to another, sometimes jumping from one lane to 3 lanes. If you are a sane person, changing lanes is simply checking the lane you are about to switch, use signal lights and change lanes if there is no threat. Here, as usual, it will never work and many times it will lead to collisions and more headaches.

Driving on the line, not in the lane
97% of time, I am always in the middle of the lane. in between the designated right marks. If the road has 4 lanes it should stay that way but a lot of drivers placing their vehicles in the middle of road lines and not being in between the white lines, the 4 lanes became 6 lanes, traffic galore. As expected, as long there is a space in the road, the idiots will insert their vehicles in inappropriate areas, which results to more traffic.

U Turn slots and concrete barriers in inappropriate areas
No wonder there are a lot of news of vehicles getting wrecked by concrete barriers with bad reflectors. Driving with care is still the best way to get yourself safe from point A to B but having dangerous obstacles like concrete barriers placed in areas that most likely to get you car turned into a metal pancake is not really a good idea. Almost a lot of them has reflectors that degraded horribly due to poor maintenance and you cannot easily spot them at afar  especially at night and if you are not really familiar with the place. Bam you just hit a concrete barrier.

Deny Changing Lane Lovers
Some Filipino drivers just want it all. Like when you attempt to change lane after ensuring that there is no immediate vehicle, a faraway car from that lane will suddenly accelerate and block your lane, the only thing missing is to give you a douchebaggery smile. It happened to me many times especially at that accident haven called EDSA. It’s like the driver is a hybrid of Slimer and Lex Luthor, wherein the driver just want it all and the concept of road courtesy thrown out of the window.

Lets head on shall we
Counter flowing is encourage if there is no absolutely oncoming vehicles on the opposite lane. Not here in our country, just like what I said, if there is space, even in the opposite lanes, our dear fellow drivers will be in their speed orgasm trance state again, and speeds up to the opposite lane and dodge incoming cars while honking indiscriminately in joy. They do this to cut the travel time, but really, its making you cut your life faster.

Road courtesy is not existent
Major roads in Manila is chaotic packed with dangerous drivers and accident magnet road obstacles, driving around here is really hell. A lot of them does not follow road rules and I doubt they know what some road sign means.

If you are fast driver, you will be most likely be killed in an accident, and if you are slow one, you will also be mostly killed in a horrible accident. Its like dog eat dog world out there, everyone wants to reach their destination as fast as possible, even if it leads to more accidents.

As other say, if you can survive while driving around the Metro you will not have any problems driving anywhere in the world. There are a lot of delinquent and very unqualified drivers, mostly in public vehicles, tearing up the streets while having experiencing speed orgasm at the same time. We got a number of traffic reducing schemes with great premise but sadly fails in implementation. Lastly, don’t forget about poor road conditions that plagued a lot of our major roads that leads more disaster and sadly,  unnecessary deaths.

Combining them all and we got the recipe of driving hell.

Post of Rage 3: With A Vengeance

For the past few days I met a lot of this pain generating idiots and trends that currently invading our dear country. Some of them is usually seen in frequent basis and others are just the flavor of the week and wishing the fad disappear immediately. Time to wear my rage cap and welcome you to another installment of “Post of Rage”, where I can write things I despise and only thing missing is to throw an old broken down toilet to the things I want to crap on.

Drivers who does not know how to use directional signal lights
It is one of those minor things that you can do to decrease road accidents but no, a lot of idiots on the road, especially with the public utility vehicles, for some reason does not know how to use those signal lights and just swerve drastically on each lanes. They jump from one lane to another, racing to their desired destination and high-fiving with the smiling Grim Reaper.

Jejemons Phenomenon
The language molesters and their counterparts the jejebusters should end to exist immediately. They are just  wasting precious internet time and cellphone load, spreading their idiocy. I hope TV news shows stop meddling with this crap and show something relevant or something that can actually help this country. Lastly, this phenomenon is simply annoying.

Filipino Time on Filipino Channels
The Filipino time is a very notorious habit of local countrymen. Filipino time is basically at least 30 minutes to an hour delay from the original time. For example, if the meeting was originally set at  1:00pm, expect the attendees will arrive at around 1:30 and the meeting will begin at 1:45. This also applies to local television network, especially on prime time schedules. The shows starts and ends on different times everyday. Is it hard to come up with a practical schedule and just follow it? when they show the line up of shows, 90% of time there are no specific time on each program and they just, eff it and play the show in a sequence without relying to a non-confusing method of setting schedules properly.

Novelty Radio DJs
I opened the radio and I hear  nice music, just the right soothing alternative rock while driving somewhere in Manila, but all of a sudden, an ear shattering spiel of the DJ blasts to the speakers accompanied with a little jejespeak and other nonsense, later realizing the station is a god damn novelty radio station, home of the most annoying DJs on the planet, not locally, but as whole freaking planet. They are annoying and borderline sleazefest and I wonder our local radio commission does not impose any penalties on this particular stations where the DJs obscenity is quite obvious, vocal and very unnecessary. Yet a lot of our local countrymen enjoy listening to this stations which can destroy more brain cells than drinking a bottle of rugby.

Coffee shop WiFi Hoggers and Time wasting histrionic idiots
Bunch of them are social climbers and thinking hanging out in internet café will raise their popularity or whatever these kids call it today. Since coffee shop is a good place to stay, they can waste time and trying to look more socialite as possible, its like reverse jejemon or something. They will choose the cheapest food from the menu just to declare to the world he is eating and drinking something from the shop,and indulging it in the most pathetic attempt to duplicate on how a typical blue blood snob eat his dishes. While waiting for someone they now to take notice that they are in a posh coffee shop, they will use their cellphones with crappy browser to take advantage of the free WiFi service offered by the coffee shop and posting Facebook status or twits sharing to their friends that they are in this café and sips more from the glass of ice-cold water, of course also free from the shop. Lovely, isn’t it.

Time to remove my rage cap, dusting all the remaining raging steam inside of me, smile a little since in few minutes I’ll be driving home, hooray for me.